Gracie

Bluewater Covenant Bible Camp

My last blog was about waiting and deciding whether or not to lean on my own understanding or on Gods.  I feel it only appropriate to share one of my examples from the grind of my life.

I told you I hate to wait.  And, those of you who know me personally, have witnessed it.  So this summer was tough.  It was the first week in August.  I was cook that week at BlueWater Covenant Bible Camp for 3-6 graders.  About 3'o clock I went out to sit by the lake for a break.  I was going to watch the kids.  Relax.

It had been quite a summer.  My husband, Kent, who was the commercial lending officer at a bank was faced with the reality of our down-turned economy. The loan applications process were overshadowed by mounting collection & foreclosure issues with unfamiliar & familiar faces.  The stress had been mounting.  Until, on a Thursday in July, he came home and shared with me that he and his boss agreed, it was not a fit for him.  He had 8 weeks.
He was looking. He was relieved; confident that God was working on the problem.  I was not.

Sitting by the lake, that August afternood, I met Gracie.  Gracie was probably 5th or 6th grade; life jacket on; and pacing back and forth. She had come to check the time.
"What time is it," she asked.
     "3:15" I replied. It seemed to relieve her anxiety a bit.
"My counselor has to work until 3:30, but she said she would meet me after that."
I reassured Gracie that I was sure the counselor would show up, as soon as she was able.  In a bit I went inside to resume cooking for the night.

Twos days later I thought I go out again to sit by the lake, for a bit of a break in the afternoon.

Again, I saw Gracie. Life jacket ready, and She asked the time.
     "3:15" I said.

She shared, hesitantly, that she was waiting to go tubing with her counselor at 4pm. Her counselor would be on a break until then.  She had 45 minutes-
                   "why not make the most of it," I suggested.

Gracie confided that she feared, that the counselor would forget and not come.  Again, I reassured her that I was sure the counselor would come. After suggestions of swimming, tubing, boating... any number of things;  however, she went off  fretting- searching and pacing the beach.

She was back.
"What time is it?" Gracie asked as tears ran down her face.
     "It's only 3:45, Gracie" I said.
 Gracie sobbed. She was sure that the counselor would forget and not come.   With a hug, we tried to reassure her, that the counselor would come. We suggested she get in line for tubing so she was ready.  If not her counselor, one of us there- would go with her.

I watched her.  Gracie, with a tear-stained face got in line. Looking, searching for her counselor.  What time she wasted!  She could have done so much in the last hour, I thought, disapprovingly. She missed out on so much- just worrying. Why, I asked myself, would someone do that?  I knew her counselor. She would come.

Just before 4, I saw out of the corner of my eye, her counselor finishing up a conversation with someone. I sauntered over, one eye on Gracie, waiting obediently in line, unaware of her counselor's presence.

     "You have a very worried campie waiting for you." I said with a smile, nodding at Grace.

Checking her watch, the counselor said, "It's just 4 o'clock." and bounded down to Grace to fulfill a promise.  I checked my watch, and headed back to the kitchen. Time for supper.

One week later I awoke one morning in tears- fretting. My husband had less than one month until there would be no job; no income; nothing. I was so worried. Life was not falling into my plans.  I knew people who had been out of work for a VERY long time. My own understanding was that God might be able, but I didn't think he would. I was very worried My Counselor wouldn't show.

I told Kent about Gracie.

"I AM Gracie," I said, worrying about our future.
     And he replied kindly, "But Schell, It's only 3:45."

Here is my prayer journal entry for that day:
(The CAPs are the reply I sense in my spirit)

Here I am-before you with nothing- but i feel like a whiny child.  I can't seem to bring myself to do anything but wait. Wait for you to move in Kent's job. I see myself in the meantime like Gracie waiting for my Counselor- fretting- in my eyes wasting moments. So afraid you won't show.  Or is Gracie like our prayers- she kept asking, pleading with someone who would affect change? Which is it Lord? GRACIE WAS GRACIE AND DIDN'T LIVE THE JOY OF KNOWING HER COUNSELOR WOULD COME. Where does that leave me? LIKE GRACIE. ... I don't want to waste time worrying; fretting.  God forgive my unbelief. 

...How do I shine for you when I feel like Gracie? TRUST IN ME. DO YOUR BEST. JUST LIKE GRACE- COME BACK TO ME WHEN YOU NEED. JUST KEEP ON... WAIT... I hate to wait Father! I KNOW. I KNOW YOUR HURT AND FEAR IS REAL JUST LIKE GRACE'S.  JUST KEEP COMING TO ME. I GOT THIS.

The counselor came. Right at 4 o'clock. Just before Kent's last day at the bank. He was offered an accounting position at a firm in town. It is a great fit. We are so thankful.

God used Gracie to teach me alot:
    That life is full of waiting.
         I don't want to waste the time spent waiting- worrying.
             I want to live in the midst of the wait, knowing that Our Counselor will come- on time!